Closure - Letting go of something I love

It's been a long time coming. The double entendre is fully intended. I am writing this to give me closure from Korea and to signal the official closure of this blog. Honestly I should have done this a year ago, because that is how long ago I left Korea, but for a long time I have avoided touching, looking, thinking of anything Korean, as doing so left me immensely depressed.

Best Female Group In Korea (I sing this whenever I miss Korea)

 I entered 2012 with the best of intentions. It was the year of the black water dragon after all. How could it not be kick ass? Then it all went horribly wrong. 2012 ended up being one of the most depressing years of my life (but in retrospect a necessary one).

August 2013 - Busan, South Korea

Christine, K-Pop Sensation Brian Joo & I

"So what happened?"I hear you ask. I'll tell you. I had recently begun working at a brand new school after some months as a free-lancer (there is a whole community of people in Korea who live like this by the way, making income solely from tutoring and other random jobs on the side). I had an attractive Korean boyfriend (a crossfit coach) who I'd met at a club and then shortly after my Korean friend invited him on a weekend getaway with us (hilarious story). My life was excellent... or so I thought

The school I began working for was terrible. I had taught such high-level, gifted students before that I wasn't ready for the level that these students were at. Our school had a co-teacher system, which it was my first time encountering. But it wasn't the system where you are both in the class while I teach and they translate... nope, it was I spend one hour with the students and then the Korean teacher and I switch and he/she (mostly the latter) spends one hour. In theory it might have not been so bad except, the Korean teachers also could not speak English (OK that is an exaggeration). They couldn't speak it well anyway. That would be like if I decided to become a Korean teacher with Lower Intermediate Korean. It was horrible. They never spoke English with the students. So for many of the students, they just refused to speak in class with their Native Speaker teacher, and waited for the Korean teacher to come.

At first I tried to not let the students know that I understood Korean. I wanted them to use as much English as they could. Then, something horrible happened. In my first semester, a young gentleman who goes by the English name John assaulted me. To explain, he and a couple of other young men had been playing with their phones in class, the other guys apologized, he didn't, I said I was going to take his phone to my Korean co-teacher so they could talk about it, he lost it. It was latter admitted that this child had known anger issues, and originally he claimed I hit him (luckily our rooms all have CCTV, I am sure I talked about this before, so everything was filmed). Nothing really happened to the kid, and everyone was impressed I didn't hit him, including the Koreans. He wrote me some letter of apology or something. His claim: He was so angry, he couldn't understand English.

After that I stopped trying. I intended to finish out my contract so I could get my severance pay, but my heart wasn't in it any more. I started speaking more Korean to the kids, or at least letting them speak to me in Korean (yes it was as bad as I thought, I had kids who spoke to me in nothing but Korean by the time I left). My relationship with the boyfriend was also affected, and we broke up the day before Christmas, 2012 (He's now married, but I am sort of proud of the fact I was the only "non-Korean" he ever dated). Needless to say that was a horrible time for me, although my friends kept me entertained with much needed soju...

Somewhere in 2013, I began to make plans... I was going to be 30 in a year (gasp you say... I hope) and I was not working in the field I had spent thousands of dollars to get a masters degree (and was passionate about). But my life in Korea was so comfortable. I started dating another Korean guy (who was a workaholic as many of them are, and I knew he was moving back to the US at some point so it wasn't super serious), and having a good time with my friends and suddenly I was thinking of staying again. I knew if I hit the 5 year mark it would make me a lifer (that's what we call people who we are sure will never leave Korea). But did I want to teach English forever?

My contract ended in August, and I applied for another job and I got it. It was in a ritzy high end elementary school in Cheongdam-dong in Korea. I had signed the contract and everything was perfect... but then the school I was leaving decided to sabotage me by saying that although I was a good teacher, I was detached. Considering I had worked at another school for 3 years and worked my way up to head instructor, that was a pretty shitty thing to-do, and suddenly my new school was a bit worried... and that was when I lost it. I shouldn't have to try to prove to this woman, or anyone else that I do my job well, when I was the one who was placed in a lack-lustre environment in the first place, and why take her word over mine, just because she is Korean and I am not? And I decided, you know what, I shouldn't even be here right now.

That was the push I needed. I told the school to keep their contract, I didn't want to answer any more questions, I had changed my mind. I booked a one way ticket from Seoul to London to depart October 10th. I booked a two week tour visiting 8 countries in Europe with Contiki Tours, and still giving me time to backpack Europe when I was done on my own. I had no plans, but I didn't care. I was on the move again, and I was happy.

Packing up my life was immensely hard. I kept telling myself I was coming back. In  fact, I still have a Korean bank account I never closed. I only told them to put my phone on hold but not to cut it off. I took solace in the fact that my work visa for Korea (which I renewed right before I left) wouldn't expired until sometime in March. I even got a marriage proposal that would have given me an opportunity to stay... but obviously I turned it down.

I travelled Europe for 3 months (If you're my facebook friend you can see the album here). In that time I went to the UK, Belgium, Netherlands, Austria, Germany, Italy (& the Vatican), France (& Monaco), Switzerland, Spain and Portugal. I met amazing people. Then my mom bought me a ticket to Abuja. I had no plans really. 2 weeks after I arrived, she asked if I wanted to go to the states for Christmas. I hadn't been in almost 3 years so I agreed. I came back to Nigeria, and I work there now. In fact, you can follow the chronicles of that adventure here.

I still channel Asia sometimes

TOP! I still love you ;)

So that's it. That's how I came to leave a country I had come to love so much and call home without marrying the love of my life (BigBang's TOP). In the end I think my attachment to Korea was it was the first time I ever did something selfish, and completely for me. It was the first country I lived in alone and made it on my own, and of course, the culture and people are amazing. I dream of returning to Korea everyday, and elements of "Koreanness" will probably be a part of me for the rest of my life. I am sure I will at least visit (if not live) there again someday.

Goodbye gift from my Korean tutor

But what it means for this blog is that it is officially closed, unless I decide to write random commentary on things happening in Korea (2014 was not a good year for Korea was it?) or practice my Korean typing. As I once wrote in Korean when I left:

#truestory